How do we maintain a relationship with a mentor?

Maintaining a good relationship with our mentor is important as it builds our networking skills, communication skills as well as knowledge and practical skills. As someone who is relatively new in a particular industry, building a professional relationship with your mentor could assist you in the process of adaptation to change, exchanging ideas, receiving constructive feedback to help you grow in your career and boost your confidence to move forward. 

Let’s know more about how to maintain your relationship with your mentor, with our mentor Evelina Deleanu, the Head of Experience at ChaiOne.

Here are best practices and habits to maintain relationship with a mentor: 

• Set a mentorship goal
  It is important for mentees to set a goal of why you are looking to be mentored and why you want that SPECIFIC person to be your mentor. The goal could be to refine your portfolio or learn how to present to stakeholders, and more. You could have a couple of different mentors for different goals too.
  
  A goal gives you a clear direction why you want to connect with the mentor, why it is important to build a professional relationship with this person. The absence of a goal will make you feel disconnected instantly and more likely to start and end with a poor rapport. 
  

• Respect a mentor’s time
  Schedule, cancel in advance, have questions/goals for each meeting and come prepared, do not run overtime of each meeting; also if you’re given advice, try applying it. Some questions are ok to be asked via messages, others can be reserved for direct meetings.
  
  You can read more on the type of questions to ask your mentor here. 
  

• Provide a reason when messaging 
  When messaging a mentor on LinkedIn or other channels, provide a reason why you’re reaching out to them and how did you find that connection.
  

• Ways to reach out to your mentors and stay in touch
  Do not feel pressured as if this is a forced task. Think of this like you are reaching out to your friends, do it in a casual, polite, and friendly manner.
  
  

Send a clear message, share feedback on the past session, state your interest to have more sessions or to discuss more on particular topics.

Below are some of the examples, shared by Evelina:

There is no hard rule when it comes to the duration you need to stay in touch with your mentor after a session. - Evelina

• You can message them half an hour later to send a short note and thank them for their time.
  
  

• You can message them a few weeks later with an update and say something like “I really appreciate you meeting me a couple of weeks ago. I started reading the book you recommended and I am really enjoying it.”
  
  
• Some follow-up can be to ask a question, share an update that relates to your conversation (e.g., you practiced interviewing and you landed follow up interviews so you want to thank your mentor for their advice), and some follow up could be to ask more chat time. 
  
  

The importance of maintaining your relationship with your mentor

• A mentor could support your career journey by giving continuous support
• You can practice mock interviews or presentations to gain more insights on how to do better on the real day
• You have the opportunity to expand your networking circle that opens door to many opportunities.
• Having someone to rely on during difficult times will increase your confidence to take on the next challenge.
  
  
  

Some of the text scripts examples to send to mentors :

Platform: LinkedIn
Scenario: Asking for a new connection
Text script example: “I just attended your webinar and enjoy the topic of X. I’d love to connect with you and learn from your posts/shares as I grow professionally.”

Platform: Any platform
Scenario 1: Pursuing a Job Opening
Text script example: “I have just applied for X position at your company. I’ve attached my resume and would appreciate it if you'd take a look at my application or forward it to the hiring manager.”

Scenario 2: I would like to meet you
Text script example: “I see that we have many common interests (or I am learning X and see that you’re an expert in the field). Would you please consider having a 30 minutes virtual coffee with me?”

You can find more scripts example on how to establish a connection with your mentor here.

5 Grave habits to avoid while meeting your mentor:

• Not showing up on calls
  Would you be mad if you have set an appointment to meet someone and that someone just M.I.A without letting you know, even worse, no reason or a direct apology? Respect people’s time and they will respect yours. Your mentor can choose to do 1001 things on that day but choose to set some time to see and support you.
  
  Apologize if you did not show up and let your mentor know beforehand the reason you did not show up. Best, if you could alert them before the mentoring session.
  
  
• Being late
  Though the damage is not that serious compared to the first pointer, it does not make it any better than the first point. Your action speaks volumes about your character. Be on time, set multiple alarms if you have to.
  
  
• Being rude on calls (interrupting, not listening, being distracted)
  Practice this saying into action, “If you have nothing nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all.” This saying is believed to have saved many lives.
  
  

• Dressed in inappropriate clothing
  Do not take dress comfortably too literally. Having your mentoring session in your pajamas with chocolate stains and visible last night pepperoni pizza topping is just distracting to the eyes. Wear something you would wear to a coffee shop and see someone new for the first time, you want to make a first good impression right? Make a good impression and wear appropriately. 
  

• Cussing
  Just don’t. 

Thanks for reading! 

Contributor:
Evelina Deleanu (ADPList Mentor)
Head of Experience at ChaiOne
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/evelina-deleanu-phd-mba-b7805076/
Twitter: @mynameisEvelina

Editor and Writer:
Farah Radzi
Content Marketer and Writer at ADPList
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/famr/